January 5, 2007
I feel the need to comment on some sweet moments I have experienced this last week as I have been able to observe my dear grandparents interact. My grandma is dying of a terminal lung disease. My grandpa hates leaving her side...I can imagine he is scared that if he were to step away for even a second he would miss something special - fleeting opportunities that are leaving us all - too fast. Or maybe he's scared that if he were to leave her for but a second, that might be the second she might go. Hard fact to swallow, even for me. I can't imagine how he swallows them every day - after being her companion for over 50 years. It's an emotional sort of time. It's hard to think of saying 'so long' to someone who has had such a profound impact on the person that you are and the person you hope to become. Much pondering and reflection.
I stopped in last night to say a quick hello and give a hug and kiss goodnight. Grandma was on her way next door to my aunt's house to get her hair permed. You never thought going maybe just 50 yards next door could be such an ordeal. Grandma finished her dinner. Grandpa cleared the table, as he has done the last 2 1/2 years since she was diagnosed. Grandma slowly stood up, left the kitchen and changed into some sweats...trailing her oxygen hose behind her...another permanent fixture that has so normally become part of her since her diagnosis. I then observed grandpa as he walked to the garage, grabbed two portable tanks of oxyen and brought them to the kitchen. I could hear grandma calling from the living room "Cor, don't you lift that wheelchair out of the car by yourself." I helped him with the heavy beast. After he got the wheelchair out of the garage and next to the porch, he loaded the portable oxygen tank and helped her make the transfer from her permanent oxygen to the portable. Grandpa told grandma to sit down and rest for a minute. The process of changing, walking to the kitchen and making the transfer of oxygen tired her out...it's amazing how we can take our own ability to breathe for granted. I do it everyday.
The next step...tenderly supporting grandma as she walked down the stairs into the wheelchair. By her side the whole way down. I walked beside him as he began to push grandma down the drive, onto the sidewalk, and up my aunt's drive - Grandma worried that he was pushing her up the incline all by himself. I assured her I was helping.
Such a detailed process - all for what we able bodied people would consider a simple task of walking merely 50 yards next door. Probably not even that much. But, my eyes unabashedly welled with tears as I watched my grandpa so tenderly, lovingly and carefully take care of the love of his life. Definitely an example of pure, undying and eternal love. Something that makes it extremely hard to think of the time when I too will have to say 'so long.'
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